A Voice From Hebron -- February 26, 1998

How the Western World is Nailing its own Coffin

By Gary M. Cooperberg

The following is a dialogue which was overheard between Yasser Arafat
and Saddam Hussein following Kobi Anan's departure from Iraq.

Arafat:

Congratulations, your excellency! Now you can see how easy it is to play with fools, no matter how powerful they may seem to be. Of course Clinton has the power to destroy Iraq. But he would never dare to do so. Even when he declared his intention to attack Iraq, he was very careful to tell the world that all he intended to do was to lessen your ability to produce weapons of mass destruction. He was already admitting defeat when he told the entire world that he could not destroy you or even completely stop you from making those weapons.

Saddam:

I must admit it, Yasser, you certainly have become quite an expert on the decadent western mind. I cannot keep myself from bursting into uncontrollable laughter every time I think about you and your Nobel Peace Prize! That was really rich. I knew right away that you would figure out a way for me to change my image from sadistic mass murderer to heroic leader. Already world leaders see Clinton as a fool and have renewed respect for me. This is really incredible. But how long can we keep this farce going?

Arafat:

Are you kidding? We are living in a world where no one wants war. Everything is based upon peace and good will. Every problem can always be worked out by peaceful negotiations. As long as you tell them that you are willing to talk, they will never dare to start what could turn into a world war. It is really beautiful. Look at how much I have already accomplished. And this is with the right wing Netanyahu in power. Could you imagine where I would be had Peres won the election? No matter. The game still works very well. All you have to do is tell them what they want to hear. Then you just go ahead and do what you want to do. When they complain, you complain back and blame everything on them. They get so confused in trying to defend themselves that they end up accepting everything, even if it takes a little more time.

Saddam:

You mean that as long as I say "yes" I can still prevent them from examining my weapons plants? Don't you think that they will get wise and go back to the bombing plan?

Arafat:

Not if you play the game well. Let them destroy a few weapons. Give them a little of what they want. Wait for Clinton to move his troops back to the United States. Put your most important stock in the mosques. When they ask to enter, explain that holy places were never intended as places for weapons. It would be an insult to your religious sensitivities to have inspectors snooping in our holy places. Even if they don't buy it, do you think Clinton really wants to go to the expense of calling out all those troops again? His people will depose him. In any event we can get Husni and the others to call foul when it comes to mosques. You tell the Americans that you signed an agreement with the United Nations and that they have no right to violate international agreements. This could start a world war. Clinton wouldn't dare touch you.

Saddam:

I certainly agree that time is on our side. All we need to do is to hold them off just a little longer. Once we are ready we will show them what Allah has in store for the West. I still cannot believe how you have taken Israel and literally have them working with you. You just talk nonsense and keep on doing what you have always been doing. The only difference is that not only do the Israelis not fight with you, they actually help you!! How can this be?

Arafat:

The secret is simple. You just keep saying "peace, peace, peace" and they will do anything you want! You can even kidnap, bomb, and murder them, using their own weapons. It really works. After Netanyahu gave us most of Hebron, what did I have to do? Nothing. . absolutely nothing. Oh I promised them whatever they wanted. But I gave them nothing but a handshake. Ha Ha. Listen to Netanyahu now. He cries about giving away Hebron, but he still is trying to give us more land. We will not let him give us any more tiny pieces. We are holding out for at least all of the West Bank and Jerusalem. Has he given up on Oslo or even threatened to attack? Of course not. He is even helping us to build a new airport! This is because we keep saying the magic word, "peace". And when he complains, I just go to Clinton and tell him that Netanyahu did not keep his promises to give us more land. This could lead to a breakdown in peace talks and a renewal of the intifada. Then Clinton pressures Netanyahu. It is really beautiful.

Saddam:

I see now. That is why you suggested talking to Anan. It was like you went over Netanyahu's head to talk to Clinton. I went over Clinton's head to make Anan the hero. This way we play one against the other. While they are busy arguing what is the best way to reach a peaceful settlement, we are advancing our plans for the big Mother of all Wars. It is a brilliant plan.

And, Yasser, it is really working!!



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