By Dr. Steven Plaut

1. "The Palestinians have an inalienable right to self-determination." --- Europe, March 1999

"The Sudeten Germans have an inalienable right to self-determination. --- Europe, September 1938

"A Palestinian state will ensure the security of Israel." --- Europe, March 1999

"Sudeten self-determination will ensure the security of Czechoslovakia and peace of Europe."

--- Europe, September 1938

2. The good news is that American officials are acknowledging that Israel does indeed have the right not to withdraw from any more territory under Wye until the Palestinian Authority fulfills an obligation or two. (Haaretz Mar 28, 1999) The bad news is that the US is trying to keep this position completely secret for now so as not to help Netanyahu get re-elected. (Same article).

3. The PLO's official rep at the UN has revealed the PLO's position on where peace boundaries should run (Haaretz Mar 28, 1999). They should be the 1947 boundaries for Palestine. Huh? you say? Israel did not exist or HAVE any boundaries in 1947. Rather the whole point, would not you say? Well, actually what the PLO seems to mean is the 1947 PROPOSED division based on the UN partition resolution the Arabs trashed. Which would give the Palestinians half the Negev and most of the Galilee for their Reichlet. This is their minimal demand. A complete Israeli removal from Jerusalem goes without saying.

4. The Palestinian Authority now has its own statistical authority, which reports that there are 63,000 minors employed in child labor in the Palestinian Reichlet territories. Remember when bleeding heart liberuhs and do-gooders cared about child labor? No longer - now they only care about Israel's "economic exploitation" of the Palestinians.

5. Ever since Goobers Carter, US Democrats have run on platforms promising to move the US Embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. But now the Rapist from Pennsylvania Avenue says such a move would mean severe national security endangerment of the United States. You know, unlike providing China with military secrets in exchange for campaign contributions. (Haaretz Mar 28, 99)

6. Haaretz pink flamingo columnist Gideon Levy can barely control his emotions. The anti-Zionist Levy is practically having public orgasms, what with Azmi Bashara running as an Arab contender for Prime Minister on a platform of destroying Israel. And even better, Arafat's gynecologist friend, the man who has gone where no man has gone before, Dr. Ahmed Yah-Habibi Tibi, will be merging his own list with Bashara's. Get out the party hats.

7. Usually the Likud is willing to do whatever it takes to help the Labor Party get elected, but this is even too much for the Likud. These days the Likud is trying to pull off the largest act of public larceny in Israeli history and transfer tens of billions of dollars of lands to kibbutzim who do not own them and never paid for them, this as part of Sheriff Lobo Arik Sharon's program of land reform in Israel. All of which would no doubt gladden the hearts of some pioneering kibbutz yuppies. But the number of kibbutzniks who vote Likud can be counted on one paw. Meanwhile the Sharon program has enraged Israelis across the political board, from the Keshet activist group of Sephardic Osloids to the greens. In response to this rage, Sharon has frozen the plan for a month. Even Haaretz, friend of the kibbutzim, has come out against the larceny.


Dr. Steven Plaut teaches business at the University of Haifa


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