SHARON AND THE CEASE-FIRE

A Satire

The Freeman Center has calculated a number of important statistics which might be of interest to our readers. These raw figures relate to Sharon's cease-fire and Arafat's war. [All figures +/- 4%]

1. Number of Jews that must be killed before Sharon ends cease-fire: 10,000

2. Number of Jews that must be maimed before Sharon ends cease-fire: 50,000

3. Number of times Israel will be condemned by the UN for allowing the Arabs to kill them: 1500

4. Number of times the US Secretary of State will ask for a cessation of violence on both sides: 10,000

5. Number of times the UN Secretary General Kofi Anan will blame Israel for excessive force: 8000

6. Number of times the Amnesty and the Red Cross blame Israeli for not dying faster so the conflict would be over sooner: 7000

7. Number of times construction of a Jewish home is considered the equivalent of mass murder in the media and diplomatic circles: 50,000

8. Number of times that Israel's left-wing news papers blame YESHA and religious Jews for Arab anti-Semitism: 25,000

9. Number of times Shimon Peres and Yossi Beilin will try to undermine Israeli government policy: 5000

10. How many members of the Israeli Left admit to having sexual fantasies about Arafat and his revolutionary chic: 500,000

THE FREEMAN CENTER ASKS: WHEN WILL SHARON FULFILL HIS PROMISE TO BRING SECURITY TO HIS PEOPLE. IT IS PAST TIME TRYING TO PLEASE THE WORLD.

The Editor



 HOME  Maccabean  comments