ISRAEL AND THE CAMEL DUNG
A Jewish Parable
By Bernard J. Shapiro
On his deathbed Neville Chamberlain, former British foreign Secretary, said the following to his son:
"Everything would have worked out OK if Hitler had not lied to me."
The circumstances which led to this tale of ISRAEL AND THE CAMEL DUNG were first predicted by the wise men of Chelm sometime in the 18th century. It took 200 years and the revival of the Jewish State for this prediction to come true. At the time these wise men were dismissed as fools.
Sometime in the early 1990's there was a wise King of Israel named Peres the Brilliant. The most serious threat to Israel came from evil man named Yasser the Bloody. Now Peres wondered how he could make peace with Yasser so that Israel would be loved throughout the Middle East. He and his favorite advisor, Beilin the Poodle, set out the make peace and change the Middle East forever.
First they sent emissaries to Yasser and when they found that he was receptive, a meeting was scheduled. They couldn't meet in Israel so they chose the next best place, Oslo. When they all entered the meeting room, everyone noticed a smell coming from a package held by Yasser. Peres didn't want to insult Yasser but was very curious and the odor was a bit overpowering. As was normal, Peres whispered to his Poodle to ask the delicate question. So Beilin asked Yasser and the rest is history.
You see Yasser revealed that a gypsy had sold him a pot of camel's dung that had magical powers. Yasser agreed to sell it to Israel for a price. That price turned out to be the Oslo agreement. According to Yasser, who got it straight from the gypsy, Israel could use the power of the camel dung to wish for peace. Peres and his Poodle were very excited and concluded the Oslo deal with Yasser the Bloody. They then went back to Israel with the camel dung and said that they now had the power to create a peaceful New Middle East.
In the years that followed, peace never came to Israel. Israel had done everything right. They gave up land, water and Holy Sites to Yasser's bloody gang of Arabs. Periodically they checked with Arafat and complained that the camel dung wasn't working. The new King of Israel, Barak of the Wet Diaper, was told by Arafat that Israel must give him Jerusalem, the Golan, and the right of return of 25 million displaced Arabs. Since Barak was getting diaper rash and becoming very cranky, he decided that he must go along with Arafat to bring peace to Israel.
The rest is history. All those returning Arabs drove the Jews into sea. No country would allow the Israelis to emigrate to their country. Who needs Jews said the British? The Americans didn't have any room for Jews since millions of Hispanics were coming without permission.
There in the great sea, sitting on a raft that was starting to sink, Peres the Brilliant, Beilin the Poodle, and Barak of the Wet Diaper were discussing the horrible disaster befalling Israel. Peres summed up the situation in a very brilliant way: "Camel dung does not have magic powers. Everything would have worked out OK if Arafat had not lied to us.."
Bernard J. Shapiro is the executive director of the Freeman Center For Strategic Studies and editor of THE MACCABEAN ONLINE and the freemanlist (email)